1. |
Leave
02:43
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these words were written on a piece of wax paper last week
where did the time go? I'm still stuck behind the counter; the butt of a really bad joke
a car alarm goes off in the distance and I can cringe to cover my ears
not 'cause it hurts me I just feel like something in my mind is broke
maybe it's the privileges I experience that i'm trying hard to read up on
perhaps it's the goals that i just brush off or the things that make me a better person
well I try not to eat meat on occasion, try to actively give to a cause
i try to consider other people's opinions when i think that a person is wrong
i am always trying to see the other side of the argument
but you're always there for me
you're making it easy to breathe
never seemingly judging while i'm at this party
ready to leave
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2. |
Dissociation
03:30
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I need to get off my phone in this corner but I'm too busy thinkin bout how I'd rather be home than be
surrounded by people who i have nothing in common with other than a four door passenger car with the cushion seats that are sunken in the middle
i guess life gets hard after twenty years or so but
you don't drive it very far because the keys are hard to find
a girl walks up asking for a signal because I'm standing next to the bathroom like I'm in line
but it's too loud to answer so i give dismal hand gestures
and she does not find it funny
that I am running away
dissociation honey
is where i'm standing today
it's funny how I'm busy writing songs about everything that I can think up that is wrong with my own convictions and my own relationships with my partner and friends I can bullshit with
I am the definition of someone who takes things for granted and is trying to make up for it
you can tell me when I'm occasionally being an asshole
I don't find it funny
that i am running away
dissociation honey
is where you'll find me
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3. |
PTD
03:16
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it's been more than a week since i've woken up in the same bed two nights in a row
I just get up to pee and then i go back to sleep
but i had a dream that i went from asheville, nc to colorado and I made it there in less than 17 hours
and i made it there in less than 17 hours
it's been a little weird waking up and not having you right next to me
i've been trying to fill the void with computer games and tv
but i wake up in the middle of then night to darkness and silence and i wanna scream
because i haven't felt this lonely in so long
i keep on expecting to wake up and write this song
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4. |
Happenstance
03:04
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I remember gettin in my car going to pick you up wondering if you were on heroin or something else that i would never touch; i still don't even drink
i had a panic attack and i cried on the way just like the time i laid in bed all day when my aunt died but i had to wipe my tears 'cause i had to have a clear mind
and i still drive by your old house
but only when it's happenstance
dropping off a friend or forgetting my sense of direction
heading downtown to the place where there's friction in my head
i hate crowds and familiar places
i find it hard to talk to people that i think are cute
but i can sit on a stage and scream in front of you
i'm setting expectations that i can't make myself
and i wish i read more books than i do
and i wish i had more energy like a few years ago back when i could feel like i could do anything just with you
i know that you're awake somehow (right now), how would i know?
i know that you're awake somehow
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5. |
Sim
02:20
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and maybe these holes in my shoes are something that is caused by the way that i move
just like the hole forming in my guitar from my heavy hand
and maybe if i were to call you and explain the way that i've been feeling
i'd find it unfortunate that you'd both relate and understand
this won't be another night where i ended up driving around
talking to you on the phone while i ride thru the streets of my town
thinkin "life is something better than this"
i'm finding that places are starting to look more familiar
and as i flip thru pages i'm starting to phase out all the filler
i'm a stranger in my house, i'm slowly finding out that i know friends better than my mother
i'm used up, i'm tapped out, i'm stating doubt that i am capable of anything other
than calling you to see how you've been
how is the band? how are your kids?
which of your beds have you been sleeping in?
and are you upset about it?
i am moving south for the winter
are you upset about it?
i am sacrificing my comfort
are you upset about it?
I'll see you soon enough
and are you happy about it?
I'll call you when the time comes
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6. |
14
04:15
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ghosts into the fire like the morning sunset that i've seen three times this week
something about a box of old collectables, a reason to stay skeptical
i wish i could go back to sleep
and dream about you and how it's going, how old habits are showing and hearing you complain about your mom
writing a diary entry, my hand is heavy, save a penny
for the mountain right by the mall
or maybe it's a fountain: the one that i've been running thru ever since the day that i turned 14
or maybe about ten, either way i don't remember anything that happened to me before last week
i even forgot your birthday
and your middle name
saving face from the people that stay placed in their place down broad street
it seems like every time that i'm alive after 9 before 5 they're always sitting in their chairs before me
feeling like some records in a shed, forgottten, broken, and bent that no one bothered to check
but i guess they didn't care but i'm not there; i can't judge them; that's not fair of me
all i can see is the color red when you're fallin asleep
and i will make this harder than it needs to be when it's done
i am stubborn and jealous and constantly searching for an outcome
i am afraid that the world will reject me when i find them
life gets harder every day but i just have to remind myself of all the good things that happen lately; both nightly and daily
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7. |
Corey
02:19
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I met you out last night after I got off work late in my work clothes hoping to not be seen by anyone else I know
Except for you, you wrote my songs in a way that I couldn't write them myself
I was the recorder or the moderator, someone that you could tell
And I never wanna get in other people's business but I find myself on everyone's shit list because of something that I did a million years ago and I forgot
I forgot anything that I did before last week, I am constantly counting out all the times I sing
I am seeing everyone else in a better place than me and when my peers buy houses I'll still be waiting here to see
Why a songbird can't just write it out and feel better in the morning
Why someone who's so gifted is always feeling so damn boring
I will make it to your house tonight but I'll leave right away
Because you're drunk and I know that you won't remember what I say
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8. |
24
05:08
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When I was 24 I made the choice that I would eventually be free
3 years later I was 27 and I made the decision completely and I quit a job where I was making 55,463 dollars every year since I was out of high school at 18 and I hadn't saved a dime of it, I spent all of my money here
And you're on my list of things to see
I write a song about you every week
When I was 30 I had seen most of the country where I happened to be born
I had no car because I sold it for money that I spent at the grocery store and over time I traveled west hitch hiking and bumming with no destination in mind and I began to wonder if it was all worth it by the time that I was 35
And you're still on my list of things to see
I still write up a song about you every week
I still have dreams about you in my sleep
And I still wonder when we'll ever be
On my 40th birthday, I was on the other side of the world
I had skinnied out and my shirt and jeans had hung past the ends of my curled and twisted body that was the skeleton of someone rational who had lived long ago
And at 48 that person was a spectacle of someone who lived on his toes
And you're still on his list of things to see
He still thinks up a song about you every week
He ran away from you well he's coming back free
And you and him will meet eventually
When I was 50, I decided to rest and I went back to my old home town
Everything seemed just a little too familiar like nothing had even gone down in 23 years of travelling nothing ever stayed the same which is why I was so confused
And as a 60 year old man, I can tell you that nothing in this life isn't amusing
When you're someone who's on a list of things to see
Get the hell away from this city
And when I die some day know that I'll be free
And I want you to at least remember me
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9. |
Arkansas
01:55
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I think I was lookin out the window when i decided this is what i've wanted all along, I thought, since i was a kid
flat land in every path of arkansas and i know this drive's too long
you can blame me, it's my fault; these are my songs
i think james fell asleep in the backseat
i know he's been worn out these days, i can see it in his face and i can relate
i wake up with a fucking caffeine headache
and i can't afford to take a break, too much to do, too much to say all these days
I'm barely awake but i know i'm alive
but i'll stay up with you all night till we reach our paradise known as our rooms
and we may argue but we never fight
but when you put politics aside, I know you love me just as i love you too
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10. |
View
03:27
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I guess I'm just a few words etched out about nonsense on a philly floorboard on a
piece of paper that I don't look at now 'cause I can't read it I guess I'll look at in the future
when I've got the songs that I want and the friends that I love and I don't have to
meet her somewhere in this cage that i create it's all full of new colors
you tell me that I should write about what I can't help
but I can't even help myself
it's a little hard to see out you
when you're always in view
singin with the door closed
staring out the window
conversations with people that I don't really know
knowing i'll be home soon
being excited to see you
seeing out previews of a future self where i don't lose you
where i don't lose you
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Cicala Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
cicala is a band from myrtle beach, sc
new album out 1/8/21
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